It’s really not about you – let’s just all agree to disagree, shall we?

Business Coach for Misfits | Maria Tan

I used to be triggered when people’s perceptions of me don’t match mine. 

  • I’d go on defense mode and start telling others how ‘they got it all wrong’
  • I’d overly justify and explain how it is they should be seeing me
  • I’d list the reasons (or at least in my head) how I felt offended by the misperception

But that made life so hard – all the constant proving myself and being on guard.

The frustration drove me into paranoia and made me stay up all night anxious about how others saw me. 

I later on realized, it’s really not about me

People need to feel good about themselves. They want to look smart and not feel stupid. So they try to show you that they are ‘awoke’ and ‘open-minded’. So I just let things be. … If the people who see millennials as the ‘downfall’ of the next generation prefer thinking that I’m a trust fund baby for achieving success at a very young age, so be it. 

… If the ‘7-figure coaches’ who like to ‘empower’ WOC prefer thinking that I make less than them because I’m Filipina, so be it. 

… If the baby boomers who prefer thinking that a woman has no success if she’s not married and has no kids like to think I can’t sleep at night because I’m single and happy, so be it. 

Their perceptions of me don’t really matter that muchespecially if they aren’t my target audience, my friends and part of my inner circle. 

I don’t need to funnel so much energy into proving myself right to anyone. 

Neither do you.